Friday, November 02, 2007

My Novel

Well, here it is!! This is chapters 1&2 and it's all I have so far. Enjoy!
(word count 1,213)
My Novel

Chapter 1
Bump! Thump! Crash! Vroooom! Putt putt putt putt.
“What was that?” cried Nikki, jumping out of bed. “Mom? Dad? What was that noise?” Nikki started worrying, because she got the gut feeling that something horrible had happened. Nikki ran to her parent’s room, and gasped! Their bed was empty! No, it couldn’t be true, could it? No, they wouldn’t have left her alone. Yes, Nikki was sure that they wouldn’t just leave her. But she was still worried. She ran all over the house, shouting for them. They were nowhere to be found.
5 years later, in an orphanage in California...
“Why? Why oh why oh why? God, why did they leave me??? I thought they loved me!! Awww man! Ok, Nikki. It’s been 5 years. Pull yourself together. It’s ok. Everything will be all right in the end.” Nikki sobbed, for today 5 years ago her parents disappeared.
“Yeah, I know!! It’s just-“ Riley paused, seeing Nikki on the bed, her shoulders shaking. “Nikki, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“Huh? Oh, I’m not crying!” denied Nikki.
“Yes you were.” Insisted Kylie. “Why? Because of your parents?”
“Kylie-” Riley warned. Sometimes her twin sister was so insensitive.
“It’s ok. You guys don’t know what happened to my parents, do you?” Kylie and Riley shook their heads. They knew her parents weren’t dead, but not much else. They figured they had dumped her here unlike their parents who had died in a car crash when they were little. “I’ll tell you the whole story after dinner.”
After dinner Riley, Kylie, and Nikki made their way back to their room. Kylie and Riley were both wondering what happened, and why she was so secretive about it.
When they were there, Nikki sat them down. “Do you really want to know about my parents?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
Nikki told them the whole story, starting with how her parents had been acting weird that whole week, and giving her strange worried, almost pained looks. The only thing she had left out was that she had felt that it was her fault that they left her alone. She wasn’t ready to tell anyone, not even her closest friends that yet.
When she finished, Kylie asked, “Did they really disappear like that?” Nikki nodded. “No way! I’m sorry. But that is totally like a mystery! You should try to solve it!”
“Kylie, this is just a normal situation!” Riley argued. “Stop trying to make Nikki’s life a mystery!”
“Well, she likes to solve them, doesn’t she? Shouldn’t she try to at least find out why they left?”
“She’s right.” Nikki told Riley. “I should. It’s not right that they should have left me here. I hope they're alright!”
“They left you, and you want them to be okay?” asked a puzzled Kylie.
“Yep! I want them to be okay, so I can get them back for dumping me here!”

Chapter 2
“Hey Riley, Kylie. Do you want to come and walk down to the pond with me? We can ditch the little kids that are following us. They never go down there. Nikki” said the note that Nikki had passed in the little paper airplane she flew over to them. The little five year olds were always following them, and it was hard to get a free moment.
Riley threw Nikki a look that said clearly “Yes!! Meet you there!”
Nikki nodded, and walked out.
Riley and Kylie somehow got away from the little kids and met in the hallway that leads to the path to the pod. They started walking, but quietly because the little kids were trying to find them, thinking it was a big game of sardines. Soon Mrs. Pinebaum, the headmistress walked by. She didn’t notice Riley, Kiley, and Nikki, and then she headed into a side door. She walked in, and as she did the telephone rang.
“Hello?”
Static.
“Oh, Nikki. Yes, she’s getting too curious for her own good. I know, we have to do something about it. Yes, I’ll take care of her. Yes, ok, goodbye!!”
Nikki panicked. Take ‘care’ of her? That didn’t sound good; especially in the context of she was getting too curious for her own good. Oh boy.
“Did you hear that? You’re too curious!” Kylie whispered.
“We better go!” Riley warned. “She might catch us!”
As they started tiptoeing away without looking too suspicious, Mrs. Pinebaum walked out.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Ummm, we’re hiding from the little kids. We’re playing sardines.” Nikki said.
“Really,” Mrs. Pinebaum said, giving them a look.
“We promise!” Riley, Kiley, and Nikki cried.
“Okay,” Mrs. Pinebaum replied, still not sure of them.
“Come on, I hear them!” cried Kylie. They took off down the hallway.
They ran to their room and when then sat down, still freaking out.
“What did she mean, take care of you?” Riley cried.
“I don’t know! I’m still kinda freaking out about it!!” Nikki yelled. “Sorry, just worried. I mean, who knew Mrs. Pinebaum was trying to keep me away from my parents?”
“That’s like what they say in spy movies when they want to bump someone off!” Kylie added. “How scary!!!”
“Nikki knows that!! Don’t freak her out more than she needs to!!” said Riley.
“Ok, now I need to steer clear of Mrs. Pinebaum. She can’t get me alone. So therefore you guys have to stick with me at all times. Sit with me at dinner, and stuff like that.” Nikki decided. “That okay with you?”
“Yes! We don’t want her to take care of you!” Riley and Kylie agreed. “We want you to find your parents and stay safe!!”
“How are you going to find your parents?” Kylie wondered aloud. “You’re stuck here with someone who’s out to get you, and no way to leave!!”
“I don’t know.” Nikki stated plainly. “Any ideas? Surely all those adventure novels you read have given you some.”
“Well.... let me think. Well, there’s so many that have too many variables in them, like you need a car, and all this other unattainable stuff.”
“Like what?”
“First of all we need to leave here.”
“And may I ask just how will we do that? Didn’t you notice that we’re surrounded by highways, and nobody picks up hitch-hikers anymore!” replied Riley.
“We need to get adopted.”
“What?? Are you crazy? You know, I think I remember you being dropped on your head when you were little-“
“Oh be quiet! Just because we’re 13 now doesn’t mean that we can’t be adopted!”
“Yes, but do you think Mrs. Pinebaum will let me out if she’s trying to get rid of me? Do you think she will want me to be able to find my parents? We can’t get adopted! Mrs. Pinebaum will make sure of that herself!!” Nikki half-sobbed. “And if somebody tried to adopt us, they’d split us up! You two would be adopted, and I would be left here with a crazy lady! Or they would split you two up too.”
Her words hung in the air. They knew that they had to avoid getting adopted at all costs. Otherwise they would never find Nikki’s parents and never have a home of their own.

The End (for now....)

12 comments:

Amy said...

That is really good Danielle! You have me hooked on it - I can't wait to find out what comes next! I'm glad you posted it on your blog.

Alisa said...

Alright Danielle, are trying to be funny with the names? I laughed when I read the names, but I knew you were trying to tell us they're twins. But I have one eensy, weensy question, is Riley a girl twin?
Overall, I like your fast-paced story!
P.s. answer to your e-mail, yes it's the same.

Danielle T. said...

yes, Riley and Kylie are both girls.

Alisa said...

Thanks!

Alisa said...

Hey Danielle one more question, what's the name of your novel?

Danielle T. said...

i don't know

Alisa said...

I hope you come up with something! I saw the rest too.

Annette said...

Hi, Danielle,
I like the beginning of your story! Your creative side has really come out. I like your plot twist of the girls overhearing the headmaster talking about Nikki, but because they were already supposedly playing the game of sardines, they had a good excuse for why they were standing right there near her office in a suspicious position! Very clever. I also like that you have Nikki send a note on a paper airplane; that also is a good, believable detail that makes them seem like typical young girls (even though they're NOT just ordinary girls, of course!).

I agree with Amy--I can't wait to find out what happens next. You do a good job of setting up the dialogue in this story so that with each line a character speaks, the tension builds in the reader's mind. What's going to happen?! I felt like gripping the edge of my computer screen. :) I definitely want to read more!

It sounds like you've got your plot on a good course right now. Maybe you can add in a description of the orphanage after your last line, "They took off down the hallway." That might be a natural way to describe what the girls are seeing as they're running away.

Good job!
Mrs. Bannister

Amy said...

Thanks! Can't wait to read more of yours? Are you just adding it to your novel post or are you going to post it in different posts? (if you know what i mean...)

Annette said...

Hey, Danielle,
Thanks for your encouragement about enjoying my novel! I appreciate it.
Mrs. Bannister

Danielle T. said...

Oh, I'm going to start putting it on different posts.

Alisa said...

Danielle, that was very good. You're definetly getting things going, it's always interesting and keeps you guessing.